Christmas guilt

"I don't believe in charity. I believe in solidarity.
Charity is so vertical. It goes from the top to the bottom.
Solidarity is horizontal. It respects the other person.
I have a lot to learn from other people."
~ Eduardo Galeano

I read this quote at the bottom of a friend´s e-mail (sup marcia) and it made me think...of the conversation I had this morning with my host mom. "Do the volunteers from Cuerpo de Paz have a canasta?" Meaning, will you guys be giving away panetón, chocolate and presents to children in Piura. Nope, we´re not doing that. In fact, I think I have just enough money to get through the month before my next payday. I hope. I´m broke, I implied to my host mom. Nevertheless, it´s probably more than some people have in these communities. I feel a lot of pressure to give out presents. I feel that if I don´t, people will take me for an uncharitable, stingy Scrooge. Aren´t I here to help the community, after all? Hopefully, physically helping out with these events will be enough. But I´m still going to feel guilty. Maybe next year, I told my host mom, we´ll do a canasta.

So even though I don´t believe in charity in the US because of the impersonal, indirect and unsustainable nature of charity, maybe I´ll dabble in it here as I´m seeing the faces of these cute snot-nosed kids and their big eager eyes staring at all the toys. And then at me.